I've accidentally absorbed some information about the progress of Canadian Idol over the last several weeks, and was a bit shocked by my "good fortune" -- the one preliminary show I saw all those weeks ago has produced two of the top three contestants. And how are they doing?

Jacob is still a clown. Embarassing, cringe-worthy performances during every second of his stage time (there's a REASON that people have spent years making fun of the way Celine emotes the lyrics with her hands when she sings). His voice -- thin, reedy, Muppet-esque -- grates horribly on the ears after less than thirty seconds, while his actions (a Frankensteinian melding of Steve-O from "Jackass" and Chris Kattan's "Mango" from SNL) merely compound the agony. At least the fans were smart enough to vote off the right person.

Theresa's voice is pleasant, anodyne, and carries that tiny bit of post-70's Stevie Nicks' gravelly sexiness. She's got a farm girl cuteness and seems to be an extremely likeable person. But she's got nothing on even the top five women from last year's "American Idol". OK, she's got a much better voice than Jasmine, but Jasmine's looks and bubbly charm evens the score. Because (and I'll keep saying this until more people understand it), the purpose of the show is not to locate the greatest singers. Its purpose is to create pop stars. And the only one of the three people I saw tonight that has even a tiny bit of genuine star quality is Kalan. His voice -- a less polished, more uncertain version of Clay Aiken. His look -- 1993 Damon Albarn except 1000 times cuter. His singing is still a work in progress, but he's got the shy and bashful look down pat. It's that lost puppy blank stare that makes the girls think he's imminemtly attainable, which is not a bad position to be in.