Every once in a while, I catch a bit of 102.1's "Ongoing History of New Music", and within five seconds I am invariably screaming at my radio and damning Alan Cross' ignorance to hell and back. This is both horrifying and fun. Horrifying because (presumably) people listen to this show and actually buy into Cross' version of history. Fun because I could put my brain into deep freeze for 167 hours a week, but thaw out for an hour each Sunday night and still have enough material to spew plentiful amounts of bile onto this web page each week in perpetuity.

This week: Britpop. The Smiths, he claims, were great because of Morrissey's outspokenness and socio-political wit. "This Charming Man" is played as support. First and foremost, Morrissey's lyrics connected with adolescents who abhorred the soullessness of synth pop because those lyrics spoke directly to their feelings of insecurity, angst and alienation. If he wanted to demonstrate Morrissey's obsessions with politics or Oscar Wilde, he could have played "Cemetry Gates" or "The Queen is Dead". Instead, he discreetly plugs the "Ongoing History of Music" CD available in fine shops near you by playing the extended version of "This Charming Man". Knowing Morrisseys intense hatred of remixing and dance music (not to mention the extensive remixing and repackaging of that very song -- has Alan Cross ever heard "Paint a Vulgar Picture"?) it is difficult to think of a worse choice. Later on, he speaks of the Smiths penchant for writing strong three minute singles, but plays the six and a half minute "How Soon Is Now?"

Then, he talks about the Manchester scene, and how the music was highly danceable fodder -- perfect for shaking along with your bowl haircut --, filled with droning organs and psychedelic effects. He rightly asserts that nobody did it better than the Stone Roses, but he clearly had "Fools Gold" in mind, because the above description applies perfectly to that, but not at all to the song he actually played, "I Am the Resurrection". True, Madchester was heavily influenced by acid house, but this was barely evident on the Roses debut. Thanks to John Leckie, the band's trippier exploits were subdued in favour of the 60's flavoured jangle-rock that the Roses re-popularized, at least until the "Fools Gold" (which was produced by Paul Schroeder, not Leckie). All was not for naught, for least he played all eight minutes of this magnificent album closer, although he could have adequately set it up by explaining how every British album released for the next six years was legally mandated to contain an extended guitar epic as its final track because of the example the Roses set.