Moby, "Then It Fell Apart" (book)

Moby's first autobiography, "Porcelain", was in many ways not even about him.  Big parts of it were about chronicling the early rave scene from an insider's perspective and documenting the smells and sounds of early 90's New York.  In this telling, Moby's career developed organically and almost accidentally out of the chaos of the fledgling American rave scene.  If it were a play, the set design (mainly the recreation of clubs that have long since closed down and entertainment districts that would be unrecognizable today) would be the star, while Moby and his friends would be acting out their personal dramas in the background.

"Then It Fell Apart" is much more of a standard rock star autobiography.  Chapters alternate between his post-1999 rise to A-list stardom, and all the crazed debauchery that went along with it, and his upbringing as a poor, shy, and lonely kid of a single mother in upscale Darien, Connecticut.  Each chapter stands as a self-contained story, usually taking place within a single day.  His earliest memories as a neglected and sometimes horribly mistreated child are heartbreaking and were the most difficult parts of the book to get through.  In this first part of the book, these childhood stories alternate with tales of the astonishing and wholly unexpected success of "Play".

Young Moby never finds comfort or success but he does develop an identity, largely filtered through his love of music -- punk and new wave, Joy Division, Echo and the Bunnymen.  Viewed through this lens, Moby could be me or any of us weirdo alternative music loving kids.  I was born nine years after him, but I was obsessed with Joy Division too, treated the first records I bought like crown jewels, and couldn't come clean to most people in my high school about how much I loved Depeche Mode.  These chapters alternate with portraits of an adult Moby who is completely unrelatable -- globetrotting, filthy rich, and profoundly unhappy.  His excesses go from entertaining to depressingly predictable in a hurry.  Invited to fundraisers and political functions for the NYC elite, he finds himself no closer to happiness and acceptance than he did as a poor boy growing up among rich kids.

In the final part of the book, mid-80's Moby has a glimmer of a future and a measure of self-confidence.  Against the odds, it looks like he'll escape Darien and end up OK.  Adult Moby has also come full circle.  He starts the book as a megastar in waiting, but he ends it as a mid-40's has been and professional alcoholic.  Just when you can't bear to read another mind-numbing tale of his slow self destruction, he chooses to get help, and the book ends.  He leaves the door open for a third book detailing his recovery, prolific post-sobriety music career, and activism.

While not the home run that "Porcelain" was, "Then It Fell Apart" is still a powerful continuation of the Moby story.