Rock Star:INXS

"It's my dream to be a rock star". "This is what I wanted to do since I was four years old". Etc. Keep that dream alive, because it's not going to come true here. After all, it's just INXS, who haven't meant anything in 15 years.

I loved INXS. I still do -- "Kick" didn't leave my cassette player for most of 1988-9. But they've dropped off the face of the earth since Michael Hutchence's death and as soon as this show starts, even a big fan such as myself has trouble buying into the notion that these 15 hopefuls are in line for an important gig. Their profile plummetted after their lead singer accidentally killed himself in a freak masturbation incident -- notoriety couldn't stick to these guys with superglue. How many people under 20 are watching this show, and how many INXS songs do they remember?

At least nobody looks like the second coming of Hutchence, and as long as nobody tries to ape him then this show won't get too queasy (but why would anybody do that, since MH =! icon, as mentioned above?). The closest we get to Hutchence is Ty, who's the body-and-voicemeld of Terence Trent D'Arby (INXS singer for approx. 3.8 minutes) and Green Velvet. Most of them look like they'd rather be trying out for Good Charlotte, with exceptions such as Suzie from Toronto, who looks like she was singing at Grossman's just last week.

I can't see myself wanting to watch this until the last four or five weeks. How much of Dave Navarro ("good friends" with INXS, yeah right) and the stilted stoicism of Brooke Burke (didn't she used to be 100x hotter?) can I take? Oh, and Kirk Pengilly's beard and moustache look unbelievably stupid.