Back in '83

I always get stuck watching these shows, even though they drive me nuts.

Sure, there were a lot of one-hit wonders in the 80's (probably not any more than any other decade, though), but once these sorts of shows finish squeezing the decade through their revisionist filter, all sorts of artists get lumped onto the one-hit wonder sticky ball, including many that are undeserving of the label. I'm willing to be lax with stuff like Flock of Seagulls, since their hair and clothes open them up to ridicule that is nearly unparalleled amongst these shows. But Thomas Dolby? What??

Despite my frustration, I'm watching to see the rest of the top five best and worst videos of 1983. Since I'm a list whore and all. (I missed the first fifteen minutes of the show, so the #5's must remain a mystery for now)

#4 Best Video: Talking Heads -- Burning Down the House. The voiceover narration harps on the song's bizarre lyrics, and the video's goofy choreography and nonsensical imagery. Somehow, all this adds up to being a great video. I don't get it either.

#4 Worst Video: Pat Benetar -- Love is a Battlefield. This is described as a concept video gone wrong. The bar scene, featuring Benetar and her friends spontaneously breaking into a dance routine in order to solve their conflicts, is singled out for being silly and illogical. Hmm, I guess these people haven't seen, oh, ANY MICHAEL JACKSON VIDEO.

#3 Best Video: Herbie Hancock -- Rock It. No argument from me, although why they feel the need to insult the technologically dated look of the robots is beyond me. Why not show clips of "Return of the Jedi" and make fun of the special effects there, too.

#3 Worst Video: Loverboy -- Hot Girls in Love. Not ten minutes earlier, they discussed Def Leppard in some sort of "Hot Hunks" category and praised their good looks and their videos. Apparently the fact that all mid-80's heavy metal videos are viewed as ridiculous these days (hell, even in those days) is lost on these people. In this light, the derogatory comments about Mike Reno's pants are a bit out of line.

#2 Best Video: The Ramones -- Psychotherapy. I've never seen this! It was banned by MTV, which might help to explain it (although Much Music has always been stingy when it comes to banning videos).

#2 Worst Video: Air Supply -- Making Love Out of Nothing At All. Yep.

#1 Michael Jackson -- Thriller. The illogical dance scenes! The bad lighting! The dated costumes and special effects!

#1 Styx -- Mr. Roboto. The bad lighting! The dated costumes and special effects! This was a big hit, although according to the narrators it's the song that destroyed the career of a once great and popular band. Sure, it doesn't make any sense, but are the song and video really any more coherent than, say, Duran Duran's "Union of the Snake"?