Out of curiosity, I watched some of Canadian Idol tonight. OK, the truth is I had been watching supergeniusknowledgemaschine Ken Jennings win for the 21st time on Jeopardy and it just happened to come on afterward (in the same way, I am now watching The Simple Life 2, albeit with the sound off and the Delgados blasting. I see no reason to *listen* to Nicole and Paris when I can just stare at them from time to time while playing great music).

There is no way I can go on watching Canadian Idol until the final five or six at the earliest, because I cannot sit through weeks of watching the judges smooch the asses of such unremarkable talent. It's only the round of 32, there's weeks of this hyperbole to come! And it can only get worse when the fat is trimmed away!

The way they gushed over Theresa Sokyrka, you'd think she was the finest voice to ever emerge from west of Thunder Bay (seriously, how many times did they remark at her Saskatchewan upbringing, as if she'd appeared on the stage straight from a remote, unexplored tundra). What makes this even more embarrassing is how CanIdol, in it's never-ending quest to rip off AmerIdol to the very last nuance, even featured the same SONGS that prominent contestants sang on the US show. Theresa did "Summertime", which was the song that Fantasia sang during the finale that blew everyone away, and, by slowing the momentum that Diana had built to that point in the show, essentially cinched her the title. In comparison to Fantasia's gritty and passionate performance, Theresa's version was forgettable cocktail lounge stuff (OK, I'll say it, it was whiter than Wonder bread).

We also heard "Me and Mrs. Jones" (sung by George Huff during finale pre-show) and "Open Arms" (sung at least once during the last season by one of the female belters, I think it was LaToya). All these performances were significantly inferior to those by their American counterparts, yet were praised to the heavens.

Jacob Hoggard was praised for his "star quality", or something to that effect, but the man is a clown. His mannerisms are identical to the unfortunate laughing stocks from "Superstar USA", who were trying so hard to dance and emote and emulate the stars they'd seen on TV to the point of becoming pantomime parodies of their fave crooners.

As a sleeper pick, I'd recommend Bernard Quilala, whose smooth tones recall the restrained sound of AmerIdol winner Ruben Studdard. Zach claimed he had zero charisma, which I totally disagree with. He was relaxed and confident, and there was plenty of emotion in his facial expressions. Charisma does not equal animation, which is worth remembering, particularly in the early stages of a competition like this.

I saw the greatest video ever last night. It's "BEP Empire" by the Black Eyed Peas. I had not a smidgeon of care for the song, but the "DiscoverHipHop" infomercial OWNZ. The parody was spot on, perfectly executed with the finest collection of prepped-up honkys this side of Wimbledon, and the finest assortment of trailer trash that money can buy (yeah, I know they are all actors. I can suspend my disbelief, can't I?).

Much Music Video Awards! I don't think I've never done a diary for this show.

A little background for those who've never seen the MMVA's -- it's a billion times more interesting and original than any other North American awards show (in concept, anyway). All the typical conventions of a Major Awards Show -- the host, the large hall, stage at the front and the audience in the back, the mismatched celebs woodenly reading dumb jokes off of the teleprompter -- all these staples are thrown out the window with MM's annual bash. Here, the VJ's collectively host the show (often dressed in their Halloween best). They turn up for their MC'ing stints on stage, but also on rooftops, in the streets, and among fans. There's no music hall -- all this takes place on several stages and runways inside and outside the MM building, in the parking lot, and on the street, all amongst thousands of screaming fans. Once in a while between all the craziness, celebs show up on stage to shoot the shit with a VJ and present an award while they're at it. A lot of wannabe edgy awards shows like to advertise that "anything can happen", but the MMVA's hyperspeed pace and crazed atmosphere really makes this seem true.

Pre-show: On the red carpet everyone does their best to look nonplussed (huh, it's only Canada, so it's not like anyone's going to see the show so there.s no point in hamming it up) while the VJ's go out of their way to be friendly and inviting.

9:00 The Beasties open the show ... amazing that they're still fun despite STILL caning their ONE rap style (everyone shouts a one-syllable word on the on the four count). It must be the years between albums that keep it fresh. First, they drop "Check it Out" (aside: I love the bonkers video. Beastie Boys deserve some sort of award for having the Most Fun Looking Videos, all of them look like they were a blast to film and this one is no exception. The Mr Dressup video concept doesn't go out of style). Then they play "Intergalactic", which already feels like a golden oldie, again, let's chalk it up to years between albums.

9:10 The hottest VJ of the night (besides Amanda although that cartoonishly large rose is straight out of one of Carrie Bradshaw hats on season 3 of "Sex and the City", and really must be destroyed) = Sarah and her plunging neckline frilly thing.

9:13 Didn't crowd surfing go out of style years ago? Didn't bands like whose fans crowd surf go extinct along with it?

9:15 The sets look amazing ... they're a cross between the Parthenon and the International Space Station. The presenters have to walk an aisle to come up and present awards, which provides a bit more time for fawning and ogling.

9:18 Billy Talent win the MuchLoad Hard Rock award ... great, more punks whose asses I'd like to kick.

9:24 Just hearing the word "emo" makes me cringe

9:27 Fefe Dobson = Toronto's own Joan Jett. Great, it works for me!

9:32 Rick desperately tries to get dirt from Hillary Duff. What's the over/under time for her first scandal? 14 months?

9:36 Nelly Furtado isn't there to accept for Best Pop Video. Last I heard, she was in Portugal for EURO 2004 (not to mention that she wrote the official song for the Portuguese team) so that's an excuse I can live with.

9:41 Sum 41 are shrimps. They're shorter than Amanda. I don't care if she's wearing five inch heels. And they are stoned/stupid/not in the mood to be there. I'd be concerned/insulted/disappointed if I cared about them with one cell of my being. So, Best International Artist goes to "Crazy In Love", and the voiceover right before the acceptance (like with the Brit awards) espouses "(the song) dials into the hot sensual vibe between Beyonce and Jay-Z". Ugh. I so did not need to hear such language. These purple prose statement adorn every award presented tonight and they are the weakest component of the show.

9:46 Hoobastank's "The Reason" is a perfectly decent song. Their name is abhorrent though.

9:50 I like how all these music and video stations that caned Creed for years and played their sludge every five minutes are now making fun of them. The joke's on them for pimping Creed for all these years. On a different note -- Jen, please never say "the hood is here" ever EVER again.

10:01 Kanye West brings the gospel choir and rocks the death out of John Street. This is the MTV awards all over again, with hiphop artists bringing the goods so strong that they humiliate everyone else on the show.

10:06 The Beasties get pushed big time with an awesome retrospective of clips from their career. They're receiving a Trail Blazer award. The crowd chants for them. They remember them? Are the Beastie's still over so big with the youth crowd that wasn't born when their debut was released and had to buy the Spike Jonze DVD to see "Sabotage"? George idiotically puts them on the spot by asking MCA to sum up the last 20 years point blank. How's he supposed to reasonably answer that off-the-cuff, and in an environment not suited for heartfelt speeches to boot?

10:09 Amy Lee and Ed show up on my TV screen and I nearly leap off the floor in anticipation of the destruction that is sure to follow when Ed interviews this stuck up prude. He admits straight out that Evanescence come with the package and he has no interest in talking to them, all while repeatedly commenting on her hotness. She looks insulted. Aren't they breaking up anyway? Her eyes dart around looking for a way of escaping Ed. This segment delivered on its anticipation.

10:16 Outkast's "Hey Ya" wins Best International Video by a Group. They air Andre giving a pre-taped, very sincere message showing his appreciation. That might normally look perfunctory, but we all saw his Grammy speeches, so I say he really was quite honoured.

10:18 FInger Eleven -- dammit, we've got to stop already with the groups with numbers in their names. "One Thing" sounds like the kind of stuff that Marcy Playground used for defacing grunge's grave back in 1995.

10:26 Justin Hawkins speaks with Sara, and on second thought, her outfit looks like something he would wear. He wouldn't look as good in it, but he's one of the few male music stars who could pull it off. Bewildered by the scene but amused all the same, he gives a great snarl after announcing "here are the nominees" and that's why he's a pop star.

10:30 F11 win Best Video. There's no speech from them (darn) because they face the wrong way on stage, can't hear what Sarah is saying (a common occurrence with all VJ's tonight, the crowd noise literally doesn't let up for a second during the entire show) and they need to abruptly cut away to her fellow MMVA virgin, Devon. Who I must say is looking quite comfy in the role tonight (not as a virgin, but as a competent and entertaining VJ in this madhouse awards show).

10:33 Someone remind me again why Hillary Duff has a singing career. Her voice has no power or presence, no range, it's nothing but a monotone that would honestly make the blooper reel in the first episode of the American Idol tryouts. She's got a decent band to help mask her inadequacy, but make no mistake, the emperor has no clothes.

10:36 Avril feels right at home with Ed's barbs. She's got her brother and sister and the sis looks like Avril's clone. They're so similar it's creepy. We're talking the Hilton sisters here.

10:41 Tom Green is quite possibly the most annoying person ever born. Billy Talent induces a unwanted fourteen person mosh pit. It must have been the Misfits t-shirt that drove them to it. Oooh, so naughty.

10:48 The C-list talent continues on with Nickelcrap announcing that the People's Fave Artist = Avril. I've got to hand it to her, becoming famous hasn't made her grow up and forget that Canada and the MMVA's exist (unlike other breakthrough Canuck artist). In a similar manner, Nickelback deserve their props too.

10:50 Jen chats with Sam Roberts and Hawksley Workman. Both of them are wearing "Stop Harper" buttons, which is announced by Jen without editorialising, with no follow-up question. First of all, I don't like Stephen Harper, so I have nothing against the sentiment behind the actions. Second, anyone has the right to walk around and put him down via a button if they wish (obviously). But MM is supposes to be non-partisan in these elections, which is the whole basis behind getting all major party leaders into the Much environment for interviews (which they have been doing for over a decade). Thus, this was a totally irresponsible move by Jen (or whoever it was that put these three people together in this segment and potentially told her to make such a comment), continuing her error-filled night.

10:52 Fave International Artist goes to Usher - "Yeah". Why are songs getting nominated in these "artist" categories? Usher gives a pre-taped speech from his basement. Man, at least make it look like you couldn't come to the show because you were on tour or in the studio, not too lazy to get out of bed.

10:53 Best Canadian Group = Simple Plan. I groan at first, but then remember that I probably hate the other nominees F11, Billy, Nickel, and 3Days Grace even more. And apparently there were no CanGroups that weren't crap punk this year.

10:56 Fave International Group goes to Linkin Park. Why do they do this one last when nobody's ever there to accept it? Why not present Best Canadian Group last to really put over the homegrown talent? If MM sees them as a step below the first class, then why should their viewing audience feel differently?

11:00 The Good Charlotte idiot blatantly ogles Amanda, and they trade badly conjugated and pronounced French comments about dogs and requests for sex. All this knocks her down a bit in my books, but I'll forgive it. Finally, we send it to Evanescence to blast the finale to bits with a furious performance. What's Jesus' take on corsets and cleavage anyhow?

As usual, the crazed nature of the show made two hours fly by in what seemed like five minutes. There were some excellent performances courtesy of Kanye, Beasties and the Amy Lee Band, as well as some horrid ones (pretty much everything else). With format of the MMVA's, I don't think it's possible to put on anything less than a thumbs up show because there always seems to be a million things happening and it does a great job of escaping the rut of every other awards show. Imagine how good it could be if they could convince more A-listers to come up here!

There was a short piece in this week's NOW on one of my favourite subjects, vinyl vs CD (vs Claude Young, in this particular case). A few notes:

The article implied that the retro-fixation is unique to techno, but the house scene is similarly backward-oriented, not to mention the 80's revivals, electro revivals, the return of indie dance (encompassing billions of bands from the ubiquitous Franz Ferdinand to Junior Boys), and so on. So it's misleading to single out techno as being leadfooted.

MP3's are even lighter than CD's and vinyl, if we're going to talk about the portability benefits. And the lighter the load, the crappier the sound. Funny how that works (I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt for a high bit rate MP3 played at high volume over an average club's sound system, but techno on MP3 sounds SOOOOOOOO awful played at home). And there's nothing about CD's that allows you to add loops or FX -- a sampler and an effects box will take care of that, medium independent.

"Much of techno's resistance to change is about how we define underground". Again, I don't think this exclusive to techno at all, rather, one could say "the persistence of vinyl is strongly linked to a need to keep the music underground". Turntables are pricey (moreso than CD players), and vinyl shops cater to those in the know. This serves to keep away all but the hardcore devotees.

Not much is happening music-wise, as I continue to buy music with money I don't have and sit around sometimes wondering wtf is wrong with $0u1$33k when I try connecting these days. It slows down my whole computer! There had better not be anything up with my computer.

Michael Jackson paid out $23 Million in the civil suit against him in 1993. Feh. Yeah, it's a lot of money, but if the allegations are true, then he's scum, so who cares if he has to pay. If he did nothing wrong, then the lawyers and accusers are scum. I can easily envision a scenario in which the latter is true. We know Michael's messed up and likes sleeping in beds with kids, which isn't illegal but is obviously suspicious. So his lawyers said to him "the whole thing looks too freaky, don't take the chance of going to jail, just pay up cuz you've got the cash". Hmph.

Techno is dead in Toronto. Finished. The techno vinyl in Kops has dried up, is in the process of drying up in Metropolis, Rotate This sells basically indie-tronica and microhouse these days, ... perhaps I'll say more another time (such as after I help lighten the load at the sale for Metropolis' upcoming move).

Life is sad sometimes. A crap day at work, I couldn't get tickets to any Do Make Say Think Shows, MUTEK is on and I'm not there, and Richie Hawtin is playing tonight which of course means there's no streaming allowed.

As for the first, well, stuff happens.

As for the second, it's my own fault for not getting around to getting tickets sooner. On the way back from uptown, I biked by the venue (The Music Gallery, aka a church) to find info about tickets at the door for the other shows, and since the doors were wide open, I stood outside (with my bike and my none too fashionable lycra attire, the first time I have "attended" a gig dressed as such) and caught the last few songs of the night. Compared to the only other show I saw there (Tim Hecker, vfu), in which the meagre sound volume was almost embarassing, they've done wonders with the sound setup. The band was huge (literally, there were both brass and strings this time, plus their usual double drums + guitars arrangement) and boasted the crushing volume to match.

As for the third, the reasons for this have already been discussed, and the fourth is consistent with Richie's performance last year. Perhaps tomorrow I can rock along with them deep in the night from afar (my apartment). Maybe when all the streams show up in the MUTEK archives, I can recreate the entire festival for myself. I guess I'm just full of ideas for strange and unusual musical experiments lately.